Whenever you complete an assignment for me, us the same number in my title in your title. That way I am certain as to which assignment you completed. Not doing so will result in a 20% loss of points for that assignment.
Section 1Below I have modeled a response to a quote. There are two drafts of the same response below. Notice how I organize them. Try to recognize how I changed them. They are not in the S.E.L.E.C.T. order, but all of the elements are present.
Your assignment (to be completed in the comment box on MY post):- Write a paragraph about the changes I made between the two drafts.
- What did you like?
- What got better?
- What didn't?
- How would you have changed it?
- What elements were/were not strong?
"'I cut the pig's throat," said Jack, proudly, and yet twitched as he said it. 'Can I borrow yours, Ralph, to make a nick at the hilt?" (69).
Draft 1
This is an important quote in the novel because it shows how Jack struggles to adapt to this wild environment. Though
Jack is explaining that he cut the pig's throat,
the narrator discloses that the boy boasts of this "proudly, and yet twitched as he said it."
This shows that Jack is proud that he is able to perform this violent act, but he still had an emotional response against it.
With an insistent tone, Golding is trying to emphasize the battle between instinctual and civilized behavior. All in all, however, this quote is beginning to unravel the tapestry of civilization to show that at heart,
humanity is violent. This is further emphasized as Jack asks to borrow Ralph's weapon so he can make a tally mark on his, an action that records his number of kills and the change he has made.
Draft 2
Just before this quote occurs, Jack has killed a pig; just after it, he records his kill on the hilt of his weapon. These are actions that compliment each other; they show how violent he is becoming and how much he has changed. Though Jack "proudly" boasts of his kill, he still "twitched". Even though he wants to show he is able to shed blood, he is still affected by the idea, just as he was he let the pig get away on his first expedition up the mountain. By juxtaposing his pride with his reaction, Golding emphasizes the fact that humanity is always struggling on the edge of remaining civilized.
I will have more drafts later.
Section 2THE REST OF THE ASSIGNMENT
(to be done on your own blog)Pick ONE quote below. Mimic my paragraph above by playing around with the order of S.E.L.E.C.T. to make it flow in a cohesive paragraph. Be sure to look for literary devices AND/OR important language. Also, be sure to include all other elements of S.E.L.E.C.T.
Ralph was annoyed and, for the moment, defeated. He felt himself facing something ungraspable. The eyes that looked so intently at him were without humor (37).
When roger opened his eyes and saw him, a darker shadow crept beneath the swarthiness of his skin; but Jack noticed nothing. He was eager, impatient, beckoning, so that Roger went to him (62).
He was the only boy on the island whose hair never seemed to grow (64).
